A conversation when I went home for my baby shower:
"So are you circumcising Tweedle?"
"I told J that since it's a boy it's up to him. If it were a girl I'd decide. And as for female circumcisions, well, I'm foursquare against."
"Heh. That's what we did, too."
"Did you hear they're trying to make circumcisions illegal in San Francisco?"
"Except if you're Jewish, right?"
"No, that's part of the hubbub-- no religious exemptions."
"That's ridiculous."
"I'm not sure I'd go so far as to make them illegal."
"No religious exceptions?"
"No. The thinking is that that'd be like allowing clitoridectomies to be performed for traditional Muslims or whatever."
"People say that all the time. But it's not like a clitoridectomy. Clitoridectomies are like removing the whole penis."
"Yeah. It's not the same. Men who've had circumcisions can still enjoy sex."
"We sure can!"
"I'll second that."
"Actually, I've been doing a lot of research on this... to help out J... anyway, I actually had a chance to talk to a few men who'd had circumcisions as adults, who were willing to talk about it. And they said that sex felt just as good after. Well, one guy said masturbating wasn't the same..."
"Why did they have it done?"
"Phimosis. Both of them had it."
"That's what [my nephew] had! Wait. I think that's it..."
"Phimosis is like if you were wearing a turtleneck and it was too tight to pull down over your head."
"Yes! That's it."
"I wasn't sure-- Mom said something about adhesions. And I wasn't sure... I read that you can cause those if you try to retract a foreskin on a baby..."
"We never did that!"
"...because that's like the worst thing you can do..."
"We know!"
"...but sometimes doctors tell patients to do that because they're ignorant."
[mildly offended silence.]
"You know, back when we had [my nephew], in Berkeley, they were already on the anti-circumcision crusade there, and he'd already been through so much, and I just didn't want to put him through anything painful. I'm so glad we waited until he was old enough to remember the surgery, and can point to the hospital and say that's were he got his penis chopped."
"Oh. Poor kid. He's fine, now, though, right?"
"Yeah!"
"You know, back when you were having him I was going to say something but I thought It's none of my business, I should keep my mouth shut. But I was going to recommend you have it done. It's healthier. Given how things turned out, I wish I had. But now I'm telling you, get your son circumcised."
...
I didn't.
I flew right in the face of my father's explicit advice and my family culture, not to mention my husband's initial feelings on the matter.
Why?
Perhaps more to the point, why bother writing about my why, when the Internet is well-nigh glutted with accounts scientific and personal and somewhere in-between, arguing that people who circumcise their children are ignorant butchers, or that people who don't circumcise are intolerant wingnuts who have no respect for religious or cultural precedent or the possibility of medical benefits associated with the procedure...
And there you have it-- I'm writing about my decision-making process because I think supplying some points between the two poles of a deeply divided discourse could be a worthwhile endeavor.
We'll see.
continued...
