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July 21, 2013


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Debra D.

I have been thinking about this since I initially read your post yesterday. This is a difficult question to answer. And honestly, I am not a brave person, but I think if I was facing a decision of this magnitude, I would hope I could evaluate it with bravery and honor. Sometimes the whole is so much greater than the individual parts. So, what gets the most consideration? The "whole" or the "parts"? I only know you by your posts and you know nothing of me, so my opinion is not worth much. And I am older than you by a couple decades, I think, so my perspective is different. I don't know what you are facing but I am thinking of you and wishing you all good things.


Debra, I'm touched that you took the time to give such a thoughtful comment. Maybe the perspective of time would be useful.

When you talk about honor--- oh, there's the rub. Because what is it? Is it about negation of self? Or is it about finding a way to live authentically while treating others with love and respect? Or is it something else entirely?

What do you do when your sense of what life is for bumps right up against the definition beloved by societal majority? Never mind that-- what do you do when it smashes against the version of life treasured by those you love?

You probably can't answer those questions for me-- not only because of an utter lack of useful details, but also because... well. You're not using the same compass.

But I appreciate the good wishes! And I send them back to you, with interest!

Debra D.

You are right, Roo, honor can be a varied concept. Honor, to me, is living with integrity and respecting others. I certainly do not always hit the mark and often fall way short of even being in the same vicinty. Like I said before, I lack courage sometimes. But because you are asking these questions, you must be a person who strives to live as you believe. We may not use the same compass but I think we both respect others. Whatever it is, just lean into it. By the way, you have a beautiful family. And thanks for responding to my comment!


I never burn bridges. I keep to the same path. I'm all about tending the path I'm on rather than striking out all over again. I'm really, really glad I do this. It's probably the smartest thing I do.

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