Sure he wrote a sonata when he was five. But it sucked.

" That's terrible."

" What's that hon?"

" A commercial for that Toddlers and Tiaras show."

" Oh, yeah, that show disturbs me."

" There was this little girl, like two years old, led out onto the stage in a pink tutu. And she does this total faceplant, because she's two, and her mom looks worried, but in this Will she be out of the competition? way, not Oh, no, my daughter fell and I hope she's okay."

"That is terrible! That poor little girl!"

"Mom has issues."

"Yeah, I think that's what the show is really about-- watching train-wreck pageant moms."

"When I see this poster, it makes me think the babies are the real artists."

"Heh! Exactly. Besides which, aren't two-year-olds tottering around in tutus pretty much adorable no matter what they do? Isn't that the only thing that makes those eight-hour death-march dance recitals bearable, when they bring out the little two-year-olds in tutus and they all fall over?"

"That's basically pee-wee ice hockey, too. Little kids falling over."

"Dawwwww!"

"Yeah. But that's why the games often end with no scores. The coaches literally have to carry the kids out to their positions."

"Is pee-wee hockey just ridiculous, then? I mean, are they just too young to get any benefit from it?"

"It's hard to say. Wayne Gretzky started playing when he was three, but he had kind of a Mozart dad."

"And he was Wayne Gretzky."

"Well, yeah. The only way you get to be a Mozart dad is if you have a Mozart. Otherwise you're just a dick."

Comments

[snozma]

I was thinking about you the other day and that new mom with baby experience and how it is so unlike everything else--then I had this odd thing to tell you which is that you won't believe what it's like once your baby is not a baby anymore--every damn thing they do you will feel invested in. It just gets worse as they get older.

Or maybe it's just me who does that...

It's not quite the mom you describe here--more like 'will my child suffer in the future because of x, y, z trivial thing now?"

This comment sort of goes with this post, right? I hope anyway!

[jenfromboston]

This post had me to "teh Lol"ing. Not much more is funnier than pee wee hockey...your husband's comment about the coaching having to carry them off the ice ...hee.

But yeah, that show's parents disturb me (says she, stater of the obvious). I think I'll wait til my kid's 10 for the spray tans.

[mayberry]

My son plays little bitty hockey and it is so funny. He actually doesn't play games, it's more of a skills class (or "skills") where they are just trying to master being upright with all that STUFF piled on them. But when they all try to go through the one little door onto the ice, and then they all topple over right away, but more kids are already coming out ... anyway it never gets old.

I just caught up on all your beautiful Christmas photos. A great-grandma is one of the only reasons we still subject ourselves to holiday travel!